Aging Couples

In class, we were asked if we had seen any couples who were still in love when they were old. I immediately thought of my grandparents. They treated each other like they were the most important thing, because they were. There was always a joke about why they were like that. When they got married, they both lived in the same town in Nebraska. They went on their honeymoon to southern California, and they never left. So, the joke was that they lived their entire lives on their honeymoon. I remember them holding hands all of the time and they still called each other by their endearments. My grandpa called my grandma Sweet Darling, and my grandma called my grandpa Dolly. They were the sweetest old couple. When they died, my grandma died first and they never told my grandpa. He died four days after she did. We had a double funeral and it was such an awesome experience. It was sad, but it was a miracle as well. I want my marriage to be like that.

Parenting on Purpose

When I took the parenting style test, I was relieved to discover that I was mostly active. Parenting has always kind of scared and overwhelmed me. The results if you do something wrong are disastrous. It was very helpful to learn some really good methods to deal with children, especially teenagers. It's helpful to be a member of the church because it gives very helpful guidelines, but I'm really glad that I took this class. I'm a lot less worried. I'm still overwhelmed but at least I will have more direction when I need to teach children.

Family Diminished in the Eyes of Society

It really struck me when we learned in class all of the ways that family affects the world. There are so many problems because of the way the world views family. It seems really obvious but I'd never really realized that women not having very many children has a devastating effect on society. When there aren't as many children, then the replacement population isn't enough. Then when all of the people who are in the work force now get older, there won't be enough new people in the work force to provide for them. It stikes me as odd that the whole world is getting more and more self-absorbed, but there are people who think that people who have children are selfish. I've heard and been told that people who have more than two children are taking up resources in the world. I feel like that just shows how mixed up people's priorities are today.

Mothers in the Home

This class as very helpful to me. I've always been of the opinion that women should for the most part be in the home, but when someone would ask me why, I could only give the scathing reply, "She just should!" Obviously that didn't make me very credible. Now, however, I can back up my opinion with actual facts about the affects it has on the family and society. It was very interesting to me that most families who have dual-income, end up losing money because of all the expenses required to maintain the home, children, and other things in the absence of both parents.

Crisis

I had never really realized how much the different crises I've had in my life affected me. I knew that the hard things we do in life are the things that really matter most, but I didn't realize the extent. It was very interesting to hear about all of the different things that people in my class went through that they feel helped them and their families. When we received the assignment to think of different crises we've experienced in our families I was thinking great. I've had like. . .two. But now I realize that it isn't the event itself which causes a crisis but how we reacted to them. I think that my family has had a couple of near misses where a stress or event could have ended in a crisis but didn't because of the way we handled it. I decided that I'm very lucky to be in a family where I can learn the correct way to react. It will save me a lot of heartache in the future.

Fidelity

I used to think that if I found out that my husband had cheated on me in any way, the marriage would be over. Then I started hearing about a lot of couples that had stayed together even after full blown affairs. I'm learning that I have a very hard time with forgiveness. It has helped a lot to be able to talk in class about the reasons why people have affairs or watch pornography. Although the reasons don't excuse the behavior at all, they do help with forgiveness if the spouse feels remorse for his or her past actions. It also helps with forgiveness, I am sure, when you completely love your spouse. I don't think I can even imagine that kind of love because I am single, but I have seen so many couples around me and, of course, my parents and siblings. I've seen marriages fall apart because people never understood what love really is. I've learned that loving someone isn't a state of being, it's an action. When people say "I just don't love them anymore," I think in my head, I bet you don't. They don't really understand that you have to work to love. I'm glad that I have this knowledge now so that I can use it to improve my own future marriage. I'm adding two videos below that help illustrate my point. One is a Mormon Message and the other is one of my favorite country songs.

For Health and Strength

Before class this week I hadn't though a lot about the little things that can make marriages crumble. My concerns had always mostly been about the really big issues. Throughout class this week we were talking about things that couples need to make sure and do during the first part of their marriage. Thing like finances, responsibilities, how to deal with conflict and all of those things were talked a lot about. It made me feel more than a little overwhelmed. I've discovered that both people have to really want their marriage to work out because Satan will try anything to destroy the family because it is the unit that all of God's plan is based on.

First Comes Love, Then Comes MARRIAGE!

Ever since we were little, this idea of marriage has been drilled into us. When did it all of the sudden become ok to live together before marriage. We live in a society that is all about excepting people the way they are. It's Satan's way of justifying sin. He makes us think that we shouldn't have to change because people should just accept us as we are. When we discussed in class all of the research that shows how dangerous it is to cohabit, I was shocked. I knew that it was against my morals, but I didn't realize how much people are risking. I wish that the whole world could take this class so that they could be educated about the dangers of things that they don't even realize are wrong.

Feminism

Feminism is a topic that my sisters and I discuss a lot. We feel that it is important for women to have equal opportunities, but that doesn't mean that every job should be half women and half men. We feel that women are making themselves inferior to men by trying to do what men do. We are making our "job" of nurturing and caring for the home seem less important. We are getting rid of something we are really good at and trying to do something we aren't as good at. We can't do manly things as well as men can, so we are making ourselves seem like the lesser sex.
We also talked a lot about same-gender attraction and how it begins. It's sad to me that Satan is making one of the best qualities human beings have and making it seem bad. It is not bad for boys to be creative, but for some reason that strikes people as being a girly thing to do. So, God and Jesus Christ created the world. Does that mean they are "sissy's?" This video was given in a talk to women, but it talks a lot about Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ creating. I believe that it applies to boys too.

Hugs and Kisses!

I've found that the boundaries in my family are very loose. We are very affectionate people. We like to make it clear and feel clearly the love that is in our family. I really like it this way, but that's obviously because I grew up with it like that. We are also very inclusive. There are no strangers at my home.  If one of us brings a friend home to stay the night, after family prayer, they get a kiss from my parents along with the rest of us. I think sometimes this can be awkward for them, and I never really thought of that until we were talking about the different family cultures in class. I realized how much we say 'I love you' in our family, both in what we say and do. I love that. It think it is the most important thing in the world to know that you are loved. This video help illustrate the importance of family.

I think that is a very special movie. I especially love the quote by Shakespeare.

Rules, rules, rules!

We talked a lot about rules in class this week. My sister and I each made our own list and when we compared them, we found that we only had one rule in common. That seemed a little weird to me, so I was thinking about it and I realized that since we are separate people with different personalities and different weaknesses, different rules stand out more to each of us. When she read her list to me, I agreed with the rules she said and she agreed with mine but we both stuck with our lists. (On a side note, a lot of the rules on her list dealt with the different rules applied to the boys and girls in our family. I thought it was funny. She is kind of a feminist).

Interesting Thought

In class we were talking about research and the many different people who try to lead you to believe what they say. It's very hard to find reliable information on the internet. It occurred to me that this is probably part of Satan's plan. He wants it to be hard to find your way. He wants it to be difficult to find reliable information because the more people he deceives, the more people there will be who are miserable like he is. There is a not a lot of trustworthy information on the internet. That kind of reminded me of the "narrow is the way" concept. You have to hold fast to the credible sources or you will be led astray.

Starting Out On a Journey!

I'm beginning this blog for my Family 160 class at BYU-I. I'm looking forward to the opportunity to write down my thoughts and share them with anyone who is interested. Hopefully I'll be able to explain myself clearly and have the insights necessary to touch as many people as I can. I'm excited to start this online journal. Good luck to everyone else beginning this assignment.This is gonna be fun!