Aging Couples

In class, we were asked if we had seen any couples who were still in love when they were old. I immediately thought of my grandparents. They treated each other like they were the most important thing, because they were. There was always a joke about why they were like that. When they got married, they both lived in the same town in Nebraska. They went on their honeymoon to southern California, and they never left. So, the joke was that they lived their entire lives on their honeymoon. I remember them holding hands all of the time and they still called each other by their endearments. My grandpa called my grandma Sweet Darling, and my grandma called my grandpa Dolly. They were the sweetest old couple. When they died, my grandma died first and they never told my grandpa. He died four days after she did. We had a double funeral and it was such an awesome experience. It was sad, but it was a miracle as well. I want my marriage to be like that.

Parenting on Purpose

When I took the parenting style test, I was relieved to discover that I was mostly active. Parenting has always kind of scared and overwhelmed me. The results if you do something wrong are disastrous. It was very helpful to learn some really good methods to deal with children, especially teenagers. It's helpful to be a member of the church because it gives very helpful guidelines, but I'm really glad that I took this class. I'm a lot less worried. I'm still overwhelmed but at least I will have more direction when I need to teach children.

Family Diminished in the Eyes of Society

It really struck me when we learned in class all of the ways that family affects the world. There are so many problems because of the way the world views family. It seems really obvious but I'd never really realized that women not having very many children has a devastating effect on society. When there aren't as many children, then the replacement population isn't enough. Then when all of the people who are in the work force now get older, there won't be enough new people in the work force to provide for them. It stikes me as odd that the whole world is getting more and more self-absorbed, but there are people who think that people who have children are selfish. I've heard and been told that people who have more than two children are taking up resources in the world. I feel like that just shows how mixed up people's priorities are today.

Mothers in the Home

This class as very helpful to me. I've always been of the opinion that women should for the most part be in the home, but when someone would ask me why, I could only give the scathing reply, "She just should!" Obviously that didn't make me very credible. Now, however, I can back up my opinion with actual facts about the affects it has on the family and society. It was very interesting to me that most families who have dual-income, end up losing money because of all the expenses required to maintain the home, children, and other things in the absence of both parents.

Crisis

I had never really realized how much the different crises I've had in my life affected me. I knew that the hard things we do in life are the things that really matter most, but I didn't realize the extent. It was very interesting to hear about all of the different things that people in my class went through that they feel helped them and their families. When we received the assignment to think of different crises we've experienced in our families I was thinking great. I've had like. . .two. But now I realize that it isn't the event itself which causes a crisis but how we reacted to them. I think that my family has had a couple of near misses where a stress or event could have ended in a crisis but didn't because of the way we handled it. I decided that I'm very lucky to be in a family where I can learn the correct way to react. It will save me a lot of heartache in the future.

Fidelity

I used to think that if I found out that my husband had cheated on me in any way, the marriage would be over. Then I started hearing about a lot of couples that had stayed together even after full blown affairs. I'm learning that I have a very hard time with forgiveness. It has helped a lot to be able to talk in class about the reasons why people have affairs or watch pornography. Although the reasons don't excuse the behavior at all, they do help with forgiveness if the spouse feels remorse for his or her past actions. It also helps with forgiveness, I am sure, when you completely love your spouse. I don't think I can even imagine that kind of love because I am single, but I have seen so many couples around me and, of course, my parents and siblings. I've seen marriages fall apart because people never understood what love really is. I've learned that loving someone isn't a state of being, it's an action. When people say "I just don't love them anymore," I think in my head, I bet you don't. They don't really understand that you have to work to love. I'm glad that I have this knowledge now so that I can use it to improve my own future marriage. I'm adding two videos below that help illustrate my point. One is a Mormon Message and the other is one of my favorite country songs.

For Health and Strength

Before class this week I hadn't though a lot about the little things that can make marriages crumble. My concerns had always mostly been about the really big issues. Throughout class this week we were talking about things that couples need to make sure and do during the first part of their marriage. Thing like finances, responsibilities, how to deal with conflict and all of those things were talked a lot about. It made me feel more than a little overwhelmed. I've discovered that both people have to really want their marriage to work out because Satan will try anything to destroy the family because it is the unit that all of God's plan is based on.